


Price of Admission

by InterNutter



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 09:39:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12504468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterNutter/pseuds/InterNutter
Summary: Taako is deliberately hard to like. The instant you think you're getting close, out come the thorns. Angus wants to get past that barrier. Mostly because he's a little tired of Taako's shit and wants it to stop, please.That's something he has to work out for himself.





	Price of Admission

Disclaimer: The Adventure Zone and the Balance Arc belong to the McElroys. I just play with the shiny things.

 

Price of Admission

InterNutter

 

“Sir?” said a soft little voice.

Magnus looked up from his whittling - a duck so detailed that it looked like it might fly out of the wood block that still imprisoned its tail end - to find none other than the boy detective. He looked like he’d been crying. “Ango… who bullied you now?”

Sniffle. “It’s not exactly bullying, this time, sir. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t beat up everyone who tries to push me around.”

Magnus patted a seat cushion by his side. “So what’s the haps, little man?”

“Um. It’s… Taako.”

“Aw geez… Who’s he happened to  _ this _ time?”

“Um. Me. Sort of.”

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to explain that a little better, there.”

And out came the story. How Taako had taken Angus under his wing. Taught him some level 1 magic and some essential cantrips. Even taught him how to cook. Starting with how to forage. And how little slices of Taako’s expansion-pack past came to light in the process. How Taako repeatedly mangled his name. Finishing with Angus successfully using Produce Flame and expecting his mentor to be proud.

“And then he threatened me, sir. He said he’d fight me to the death if I ever got better than him. But… he said it was play-acting after.”

Magnus laughed. “Whoa. What did  _ you _ do to get the Taako seal of approval?”

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

“Taako is not just a  _ little _ hot and cold, you get me? It’s… well… explaining it as ‘his way’ is kind’a excusing all the shit he pulls but… I’ve known him for a while. He doesn’t like getting attached. So when he feels that kind’a pull towards anyone? He’s instantly an asshole.”

“But. Why? People need people. All the time.”

“Yeah,” Magnus sighed and put down his carving. “They do. I’ve only pieced this together from the things he says in his sleep? But he’s used to people throwing him out. Throwing him away. And probably chasing him down with pitchforks and torches.”

“All that kind of stuff stopped happening like eighty years ago, sir.”

“And how old is Taako?”

“A hundred and--” the light dawned and those little eyes went wide. “ _ Oh _ .”

“Yeah. So it’s like a pre-emptive strike, you know? Tell someone something that might make them hate you. Or make them laugh at you. Start hurting them before they can hurt you back. Keep your distance. It’s so ingrained in him, he probably doesn’t even notice when he overdoes it until it’s too late.”

Angus looked away. Working things out. Magnus could almost hear the gears turning. “That’s why he said it was play-acting. Right?”

“Yeah. He’s great at a quick back-step, my guy.”

“Is there any way to make him stop?”

Magnus shrugged. “When you work it out, let me know. I’d love to get him to stop calling me ‘Maggie’.”

*

Angus thought he had it, and it began with a peace offering at the Fantasy Jamba Juice. He caught up with the enigmatic elf in the queue to order.

“May I buy you a refreshing beverage, sir?”

“Well, if you’re paying, it’ll be the Special Day Surprise Fantasia.”

Angus said, “We both know you only taste key lime go-gurt when you drink, sir.”

Taako blew a raspberry. “Boo, you--” and stopped himself. “Fine. I’ll have my usual.”

The staff behind the counter nearly fainted from shock. Someone was buying Taako a refreshment and they  _ weren’t _ paying for the top-ticket item.

Angus allowed a moment to enjoy the drinks before he said, “I’ve been trying to work you out, sir. Why you do… everything you do.”

“Live in the moment. No regrets. Do it for the giggles. That’s the Taako brand.”

Of course he’d say that. That’s what his modus operandi  _ seemed _ to be. And then he’d confess things. Horrible things. Like how he’d accidentally poisoned Glamour Springs. That didn’t sound like  _ no regrets _ .

“Sir?” Angus lost courage, started stirring the cream into his frozen fruit juice cocktail.

“Yeah?”

This was it. This had to be the ticket to Taako’s acceptance zone. “You called me a ‘poor little rich boy’ once or twice, and… you seemed to think that made me… bad.”

“Nothing wrong with having resources, though,” shrugged Taako.

“I made all my money  _ after _ I started detecting.”

“Okay,” Taako watched Angus. Seemingly disinterested, but not missing a thing. “This is all buildup. Where’s the crescendo?”

This was tough. He didn’t keep many secrets, but this was the one that got him the most trouble with authority figures. Especially before he learned that being honest didn’t always mean telling people everything. Deep breaths. Eyes tight shut. He could do this. “My first case was my parents’ murder.”

He peeked. Taako seemed frozen. If his face said anything, it was ‘whoa’.

“And you -uh- let everyone think that you had a home and family while you-- while you were out with all this... derring do of yours?”

There was nothing else to say but, “Yes, sir.”

Taako leaned in. “Kid. You may be a better hustler than I ever was. Well fucking  _ done _ .” And then he presented his hand for a shake.

Angus took it. “Thank you, sir.”

“Don’t let it get to your head, though.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.” It was a deal. And it was what kept him on Taako’s very brief trust list during the apocalypse.

 

END!


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